Summer

Good thing it's summer!!! I need to update my blog! That will be this week's goal!

Victory Over Violence 5K

Josh and I decided to participate in the VOV 5K today.
It was pretty fun. I say participate because I walked/jogged and Josh ran. My finish time was 50 minutes and Josh's was 24 minutes. I was doing pretty well and jogging/walking when all of the sudden this old man comes up on my left side. Let me take this moment to describe this old man to you since I was unable to get a picture of him while I was jogging. He was probably around 5'7" and hunchbacked. He was probably 90 years old or older and looked very much like the Six Flags old man. He had on a Texas A&M football jersey tucked into his elastic cargo shorts that were pulled all the way up to his man boobs. He wore a pair of prescription sport goggles that he anchored around his head with a 3 inch wide strap that hung down off the back of his head about a foot. And when he came up on my left side I noticed a different movement that I had never seen before. It was the movement of "the old man shuffle." You know the kind, where their feet never come up off of the ground and just slide in front like a skier. So he comes up on my left side and I can't help but stare at what I'm seeing because really his feet never came off the pavement. Before I realized it he had passed me!!! Now, I wasn't about to let a 90 year old shuffler get past me so I started to jog a little faster. I kept up that pace about a meter behind him the whole time and I just couldn't seem to get in front of him. Every time I got close, he shuffled faster. I can't believe it, but I have to admit I got beat out by a 90 year old man who literally shuffled past me!!! Boy, do I have some cardio work to do in the gym this week!!!! Anyway, Josh did awesome! Not surprisingly of course because I knew he would do great. It was his first 5K to run in and he was pretty excited. His boss, Kirk, ran with him and they competed on the Charter Team. After Josh was finished with his run he turned around and walked back up the course to meet up with me and finish with me. He's such a sweetie!! We had a good time an we look forward to next weekend when we do the Zoo Run 5K~

New couch!

Okay, so we still don't have our money refunded from Ashley Furniture, but we do have a new couch picked out from Havertys! We are just waiting on our money to be refunded so we can purchase it! It's almost a $1000 more than the one from the other store...but at least we won't have to wait over a month for it and we know it will actually be delivered!!! As long as it is at my house BEFORE May 1 I'm good! Here's a picture of it:



but in this color:

Ashley Furniture UGH!!!

I have a few words of advice: NEVER buy furniture from Ashley Furniture Store. UGH!!! After a month of waiting we still do not have our couch and now it's going to be another 21 days before they give me my money back!!! HORRIBLE customer service and they don't return phone calls. We only got our money back because we were forced to go in the store today after sitting on hold for 38 minutes and then being hung up on. I called back and was told the Assistant Manager I as holding 38 minutes for had gone home and wouldn't be back until Wednesday!!! So, face to face contact gets the job done! I'm sticking with Haverty's in the future because I've NEVER had a problem with them!!!

Golfing

Josh and I decided to go golfing at the end of our street where there is a little park. Golfing is surprisingly fun! I don't like chasing the golf balls all over the field but it is reminiscent of an Easter egg hunt...only of balls...and there's no candy involved. Anyway, we were just hitting the balls around minding our own business when this random man (Exhibit A):

Came out of the woods from the tree at the corner of the fence in this picture:

And was complete with a golf club as he came wandering up from no where and began to hit all of stray golf balls back to us. I stopped for a minute and asked Josh if I was really seeing a random forest man hitting balls at us and he said, "Yes" but that was all he could get out over the shock and weirdness of the situation as well. So, only in my HOOD would this happen... But you know what? It's where I live so I deal with it! Anyway, here's some random golfing pictures. It was fun!

Dr. Appointment

I went to see Dr. Kaufmann today and basically I didn't learn anything new but I did get reassured that it would be okay and I could have a perfectly healthy pregnancy if I maintain my treatment regimen. I was told to begin a daily baby asprin today and to take one every day for the rest of my life. I was also instructed that at the first sign of pregnancy I am to begin Lovenox (blood thinner) injections which will continue through the pregnancy. At the end of the pregnancy they will switch meds with a smaller half life to make it safe for me after delievery. I will be monitored pretty closely to make sure I don't form clots and everything is developing correctly. This condition does affect other aspects of my life and I was advised to meet with a hemotologist/oncologist for more specifics; however, since it has not caused me problems until I was pregnant I should be fine. Though, knowing is half the battle because it is treatable! I feel relieved and happy that we have the answers and we have a plan. It is not going to be an easy road but then again the last 5.5 years of trying to concieve hasn't been easy so it's not surprising. I am optimistic about the future and I feel confident that one day Josh and I will hold the baby of our dreams in our arms and we will one day meet our little Alan angel in heaven. God provides when you give it up to him!!!

A little info on Antiphospholipid Antibodies

Who Has Antiphospholipid Antibodies?
Though they can cause problems, surprisingly, 2% to 15% of the healthy population actually has antiphospholipid antibodies in their blood. However, these people have very low levels of the antibodies, and therefore they don't really cause a problem. It is only when they are at high levels that the antiphospholipid antibodies begin to make trouble.

Antiphospholipid antibodies are also commonly found in people with:


•unexplained infertility
•Lupus
•Migraine headaches
•Deep vein thrombosis

Complications Caused by Antiphospholipid Antibody
There are a number of complications associated with high levels of antiphospholipid antibody. These include:


•blood clotting
•stroke
•heart attack
•miscarriage

Infertility and Antiphospholipid Antibody
High levels of antiphospholipid antibody are often associated with unexplained infertility including:


•recurrent miscarriage
•stillbirth
•placental insufficiency
•implantation failure
•increased rates of IVF failure.

It is thought that antiphospholipid antibodies compromise the placenta which nourishes your baby. Because the antibodies cause clotting, the embryo is cut off from oxygen and nutrient support. As a result, spontaneous miscarriage or fetal death can occur. Clotting can also cause distress to the placenta, making it difficult to have a successful implantation.

Treatment
If you do test high for antiphospholipid antibodies, you may decide to try to treatment. Treatment is aimed at reducing the number of clots in your blood, and restoring blood flow to the placenta. Low-dose aspirin and the anticoagulant Heparin are often recommended.

What happens most frequently in APS is blood clotting. Pregnancies are lost because blood clots form in the placenta and starve the baby of nutrition. Treatment is the use of anticoagulation. In pregnancy, heparin is used. This gives the fetus an 80-90% chance of survival, a drastic improvement from the 1980's when fetal survival was around 20%.

However, pregnancies are not normal. Normal pregnancy is 40 weeks. In APS, it is more common to deliver the baby between 30-35 weeks, and between 3-5 pounds. Heparin protects the placenta partially, but not fully so that the baby gets enough nutrition to survive longer in the mother. Once born, the babies do fine.

We have answers...

Dr. Kaufmann called me yesterday and asked that I come in for a consult to discuss my blood test results. Apparently, my Factor 5 test came back negative; however, my Antiphospholipid Antibodies test came back positive...thus my miscarriage. I feel a little relieved to finally have an actual medical reason for the death of my child; however, I'm pretty nervous about my appointment on Monday. I just don't know what to expect. The unknown worries me. I've spent all day reseraching and speaking with people who are familiar with, or work with, or even know others who have this condition during pregnancy. It's helped some but I'm still not going to fully understand until I ask questions and Dr. Kaufmann explains it to me. I do know that as part of the treatment plan I would need to do daily injections of a medicine called Lovenox along with baby aspirin to thin my blood and prevent clots. I was nervous about that medicine not being covered by my insurance policy but I looked it up and luckily it is!!! What a relief that is to me. I will keep you all updated after my Monday afternoon appointment. Prayers are always accepted and GREATLY APPRECIATED!!!

First Day of Spring

Today was the first day of spring... It was FREEZING outside!!! My sister sent me this picture of her backyard... I returned the text with a picture of my backyard...
I love Texas weather!!! Oh, in case you were wondering...I live in Fort Worth and she lives in Rockwall...not a big enough distance to have such a drastic difference to the start of Spring!

The New Bed

The bed arrived!!! And we bought a new comforter set and new sheets!! Now all I have to do is paint the room a new color to match the new bed set. Teal anyone??

My Random Husband

We had enjoyed our food from Central Market the other day so much we decided to do a little grocery shopping there and sneak by the cafe again. I went to get ready to go and I walked into the living room to this lovely sight: Then this happened:
I wish I could blame any type of alcohol for the cause of this video; however, I cannot. This is just a typical day in the Youngblood household!!!

Alan Patrick Youngblood

My genetic testing results came back and everything was healthy/normal. There is still no reason for the miscarriage. My heart still hurts and time hasn't helped it any. I know we will hold a child of our own one day but finding out today that it was a little boy breaks my already fragile heart into million pieces all over again. Josh and I decided since we found out it was a boy that we should name him: Alan Patrick Youngblood.

http://www.aplacetoremember.com/remembrance/remember_view2.asp?id=14926&index_letter=Y


IN MEMORY OF

ALAN PATRICK YOUNGBLOOD

miscarried February 12, 2010.

Remembered by Josh & Julie Youngblood:

Your Dad and I struggled for 5 1/2 years to create you. We never gave up hope that one day you would enter our lives and fill our hearts with joy. The day we found out you were coming was the best day of our lives. You entered our world and made everything so thrilling and so new! Pure excitement and elation poured from our hearts as we shared the news with everyone we knew. You were prayed for from that moment on. You were our first baby, and though we never got to hold you, we will continue to hold you in our hearts forever. We loved you from the beginning and our love for you will never end. You are our “Baby Youngblood.“
They say there is a reason,
They say that time will heal,
But neither time nor reason,
Will change the way we feel,
For no one knows the heartache,
That lies behind our smiles,
No one knows how many times,
We have broken down and cried,
We want to tell you something,
So there won't be any doubt,
You're so wonderful to think of,
But so hard to be without.

With all our love,
Mom & Dad
XOXO

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!! I wore my green turtle neck since it was COLD outside! Josh and I spent the day shopping which is always a plus in my book!!! We window shopped at Old Navy and bought Josh a green shirt. Then we had some Jamba Juice smoothies...Yummy! We made our way to Ashley Furniture to look at new beds and found this one that we liked:

Then we decided to look at Haverty's and found this bed:
I fell in love with this one!!! So, we bought it!!! It's only taken Josh and I 6 years to FINALLY AGREE and PURCHASE a bed!!! I'm pretty excited about this bed! It will be delivered on Friday because unlike the new couch...it's NOT on back order!!! My sister texted me some pictures of my niece Madi so I texted some pictures of my kids too.


Finally, Josh and I finished our day with a lovely dinner at Central Market's Cafe on the Run!

Testing

Dr. Kaufmann called today to let me know my genetic testing results were in and everything looked perfect. We still don't have a cause for our miscarriage. I know I should be happy but I just wish there was an answer or something that we could fix. I hate not knowing and thinking that it could happen again. Though, nothing has indicated that it would happen again...nothing has indicated that it wouldn't either. Dr. Kaufmann did ask me to go ahead and have two blood tests done (Factor 5 & Antiphospholipid Antibodies). Both of these tests will "rule out" blood clotting disorders. These tests are generally not given to patients until after reoccurring miscarriages have happened. This is our first pregnancy ever and of course our first miscarriage. Dr. Kaufmann is just being extra careful and thorough which I appreciate. A few things just aren't adding up about our miscarriage so I am totally fine with doing these simple blood labs.
1- Everything was GREAT...no, better than great, FABULOUS with my pregnancy tests leading into the 8 week appointment
2. Nothing indicated a miscarriage
3. No fetal sack was present due to my uterus being full of blood at the 8 week appointment
4. My uterus was larger than what an 8 week uterus should be during my D&C
5. At 6 weeks 1 day we saw the flicker of the heartbeat which drastically dropped our chances of miscarriage
6. When my sister miscarried (missed miscarriage too) they still saw a fetal sack but no heart beat was detected
7. I had many issues after my D&C such as spiking fever of 102*F
8. I tested positive for an infection and was prescribed a Z Pack
9. My liver enzymes were elevated after my miscarriage/D&C
10. Every test done since then has come back PERFECT....doesn't add up!!!

I just don't understand...no one does...this is soooooo hard....

Shiloh...aka PSYCHO

So we are dog sitting for the Brawley's and they have a PSCYHO dog. Here's the dog all nice and innocent looking: Don't let looks fool you!! Take a closer look at this picture of Josh petting him... Yes, that is definite growling coming from the Chihuahua!!! Now, take a look at this documented proof that the dog is CRAZY: This is me giving him a treat!!!

Tea Party!

One of my lovely students hosted a tea party over Spring Break and I was invited! I wish I could show you a picture of all the girls all dressed up in their tea party dresses; however, I don't have permission from their parents and since they are my students and not my family or friend's family I will not be posting their faces. But here's the spread before we all dug in! This was definitely a 10 year old's tea party because it ended with jumping on the trampoline? I was specifically told to bring a change of clothes. I follow instructions well and brought my jumping outfit. I had forgotten how SCARY being on a trampoline is!!! The girls loved it! I thought I was going to toss all the delicious tea party food I had just eaten. It was scary!!!

Decorating

My sister-in-law and brother-in-law recently moved into an apartment and hadn't decorated yet. So, I volunteered to assist in that department. I wish I would have thought about taking more BEFORE pictures but I forgot so you get the AFTERS...

This is a kind of BEFORE because we didn't have the rest of the crosses to hang at the time of this picture.
Here's the after:

Meet Violet:

I spray painted this table with the lovely matching lamp we found at Goodwill!

Moving and selling

As mentioned in the last post we sold our couch to Josh's sister in anticipation of our new couch coming. They were ready to purchase even though our new couch was on back order. We decided it wasn't that big of a deal so we moved the stuff early. Here's a picture of Josh and Andrew getting rid of their old couch Since we don't have any furniture in our living room any more Josh and I decided to move the new "couch" in temporarily until the real "new" couch gets delivered. The dogs have enjoyed it for sure!
And yes, that is a bed in my living room. So if you haven't been invited to the house lately...or if I have avoided your subtle hints of coming over it's simply because I have a bed for a couch right now and I don't want you to see it in person!!!

Rugs

We need an area rug and my friend Sherri informed me of a sale at JCPenny online for rugs...these are the two approved by Josh and liked by me! Hmmm...which one to buy...
I like this one the best:


Then this one...

Couch

We've been looking and debating about buying a new couch for a few years now but never did anything about it. When we found out we were pregnant the choice of buying a new couch was made for us. We obviously weren't going on vacation being pregnant so it was a no brainer. Then the miscarriage happened and our world spun out of control. We didn't know what we wanted. After many debates (and tears...not over the couch) we finally decided to look. Yesterday we went to 4 different furniture stores and finally found one we liked enough to purchase. However, we didn't like the price. After some negotiations we got the price dropped and we get the couch in 3 weeks. It's on back order. I can't wait. So our new spring break plans (since we don't have to set up a nursery) are to get our house changed around for the new couch to make its debut. That also means I have a few pieces of furniture to sell. After our fun filled day of shopping for a new couch Josh and I came home and played some scrabble. Later in the evening my in laws came to hang out and potentially buy our old couch. Here are pictures of our soon to delivered couch.










Here's a picture of Snicker with our niece Brooklyn:

A Lament for my Baby

A Lament for my Baby

I never got to hear you laugh
you never saw me cry
didnt get a chance to say "Hello"
you never said "Goodbye"
I didn't think that I could feel
so sad, lost and forlorn.
I never knew God chose his Angels
before some of them were born.
Every baby is an Angel
and every angel is divine
God needed one in heaven
He came down and took mine
And although we are not together
we're not really apart
for you'll always occupy a space
deep within my heart.
Time has begun to ease my pain
It's only some days now I cry.
When I wish I could have said "Hello"
and heard you say "Goodbye"

Great News

I went in for my Post Op yesterday with Dr. Kaufmann. He didn't have the results of my genetic testing but he did have the tissue and blood work back. Everything turned out fine and there is still no answer as to why we miscarried. I suppose that's better than an answer that leads to reoccurring miscarriages. Anyway, the good news was that he changed his mind after my labs came in and basically told me that we didn't have to sit out 3 cycles. We are good to go as of yesterday!!! That doesn't mean we'll get pregnant that fast but it does take the stress of having to wait until June before we could "actively" try. I'm so relieved. It definitely helped cheer me up. Yea for good news!!!

An Angel Never Dies

I found some poems that really speak to my heart right now:

An Angel Never Dies
Don’t let them say I wasn’t born,
That something stopped my heart
I felt each tender squeeze you gave,
I’ve loved you from the start.
Although my body you can’t hold
It doesn’t mean I’m gone
This world was worthy, not of me
God chose that I move on.
I know the pain that drowns your soul,
What you are forced to face
You have my word, I’ll fill your arms,
Someday we will embrace.
You’ll hear that it was meant to be,
God doesn’t make mistakes
But that won't soften your worst blow,
Or make your heart not ache.
I’m watching over all you do,
Another child you’ll bear
Believe me when I say to you,
That I am always there.
There will come a time, I promise you,
When you will hold my hand,
Stroke my face and kiss my lips
And then you’ll understand.
Although I’ve never breathed your air,
Or gazed into your eyes
That doesn’t mean I never was,
An Angel never dies.

Reality?

I sometimes question if I was ever even pregnant or was this all a bad dream...I guess the proof speaks that it was real... See the heartbeat...


I have a feeling September 23, 2010 is going to be a hard day for me...Rest in peace tiny baby. We'll hold you in heaven one day...

Great surprise

Josh surprised me with a massage on Friday only the surprise didn't stop there! He then informed me he signed us up for monthly massages for a year!!! WOOHOO!!! How awesome is that? Plus, I can suspend the account WHEN I become pregnant again. I'm so excited. For signing up we were each given a box of Godiva chocolates. Now, I generally don't eat chocolate because it's not my favorite. I did open the box to look at the chocolates because the box looked fancy so I figured the chocolates would be fancy too and I was right! There was a star and heart shaped one among the four. I couldn't resist and tried the white star...it had raspberry goodness inside!!! YUMMY! After our wonderful massages (we met up there because of timing) we drove home to drop off one car and ride together to dinner. We ate at the Cheesecake Factory! Also, a BIG YUMMY!!!! We ended the evening with searching for a new couch. Here's what we found...





It was a great end to a fabulous evening.